The book “My Berdyaev” substantiates a fundamental fact for the study of Berdyaev’s heritage: his teaching overcomes the boundaries of philosophy and enters the field of gnosis - spiritual knowledge. Berdyaev's Gnosticism at an early stage of his work comes into contact with the anthroposophy of Rudolf Steiner, and in the works of recent years it echoes Kabbalah. Berdyaev himself, who had mystical experience, considered his view esoteric. N.K. Bonetskaya makes an attempt to penetrate into the essence of his existential “personalism”. The publishing layout of the book is saved in PDF A4 format.