In this novel, the People's Writer Gerard Reve reflects on what an unheard of sinner he was born, shares his experience of living in a tourist camp, tells the story of carnal love with an ugly pastry chef and receiving outlandish sweets, visits the undertaker, reveals the secret of his youth, indulges in memories of relations with his brother and an unforgivable act with a young captive, pays a visit to the palace, informs the Queen about the death of two comrades in arms, receives a high reward from the hands of Her Ladyship, but does not dare to tell about the unspeakable and suddenly finds himself face to face with his sinful past.< /p>