The human psyche is structured mercifully: we forget too unpleasant and painful situations and emotions to live normally. However, normal does not mean happy. Behind a high fence, it is difficult to see the beauty of the world and it is difficult to make acquaintances with new people. Danish psychotherapist Ilse Sand explains, using examples from life, how different types of psychological defense do not help, but, on the contrary, prevent us from living a full life and how we can get rid of them. After reading this book, you will understand how what you were told in childhood and adolescence can influence your actions and decisions today. Perhaps you will realize the hidden reasons for your experiences and finally allow your family and friends to become truly family and close people to you. This book, of course, will not replace a psychologist for you, but it will help you take a step towards people and your own happiness.