The new book of the famous writer, historian, publicist Yakov Gordin is a chronicle of two experiments, with fate and memory. In the 1950s, an intelligent young man, who had read a lot of “brutal” literature - F. Nietzsche, D. London, G. d'Annunzio, etc., after school voluntarily goes to serve in order to change the book world to the real and extremely harsh world. On the coast of the Sea of Okhotsk, in the Mongolian steppes, in the Siberian taiga, refined culture collides with the harsh army life into which the hero will have to get used to. Many years later, Ya. Gordin rereads his letters from the army - and discovers that he remembers those years and events completely differently. Who knows the truth - today’s author or the then young man with “Napoleonic plans”? In his memoirs, Y. Gordin tries to answer this and other questions related to historical authenticity and our attitude to the past.