The main feeling from my childhood was the feeling of loneliness, at times, it literally chilled my childish being. I was surrounded by people, but I did not feel any connection with them. From an early age, looking at the actions of people, I often thought: What they do brings suffering both to others and to themselves. It is obvious! All my childhood, youth and part of my youth, I lived as if with a hole inside. I tried to close this hole with a different surrogate: alcohol, drugs and other variety of destructive actions...But in spite of everything, the feeling of the significance of life did not leave me...