A humorous story about what “dirty” methods the state uses to control and subjugate its citizens, using all available “illegal” methods, in particular banking operations, which are actually a cover for total surveillance. The concept of “bank secrecy” does not exist in principle. Banks, with the help of modern technologies, impose their rules of the game on us, control us, taking away our freedom and making us their slaves. A first-person story from an automated bank clerk - virtual banking assistant Alice. All characters are fictitious, and coincidences are random and are solely the product of the author’s logical thoughts.