"Apollinaris's soul was torn to pieces. He was torn apart by contradictions - on the one hand, he was afraid of his own images, and on the other, he wanted to see his doppelganger. Due to constant worries, he grew old - internal suffering made itself felt. Looking in the mirror, began to stutter and talk some kind of fantastic heresy, schizophrenic nonsense, metaphysical nonsense. He clearly turned into a crazy astronaut, who endlessly puts on and takes off his spacesuit in the hope of finding something alien. From the outside, he presented a terrible sight. A patient of all kinds of clinics. I tormented my unsteady self, so weak, so wretched, so ephemeral and so... beloved."