When I convinced myself that I had nothing to lose, I couldn’t even imagine that there was still something left. The big and invisible thing that didn’t let me cross the line. Humanity. It was her. But today I lost her too. I lost her next to someone she didn’t know at all. Should this calm me down? Calm me down when behind the wall lie two of my friends in a “black tulip”, who walked this earth this morning. War. in I fully realized that this word had a salty taste of iron. And the mad pain of loss and hopelessness. Understanding your own powerlessness when innocent children are being killed before your eyes. And the best thing you can do is kill in response.