“Most people are familiar with feelings that are difficult to control. Without hesitation, people “throw them behind a screen”—hide them from others, even from themselves. And they often marry people who are accustomed to hiding the same feelings. The habit is passed on to children... from generation to generation... Our happiness is that we fall in love with someone who hid the same thing as us! It's lucky that both partners have the same weaknesses... and through no fault of their own. Therefore, loved ones seem to be “made for us.” Therefore, we still trust them - even though we are defenseless in front of them. But here’s the paradox: your partner is the person with whom you will grow up most quickly, but also the one with whom you are most likely to reach a dead end. Moreover, you will probably hate him like no one else in the world. It all depends on how much the married couple agrees to allow what is hidden behind the “screen” of everyone, how much they are ready to look “behind the screen.” The more willing and courageous they are to admit the unpleasant fact that they are far from their imaginary “self-portraits,” the more likely it is that they will successfully cope with problems - if they arise. This bestseller was written by a venerable English psychiatrist (psychoanalysis, systemic family and group psychotherapy, academic merit and the highest professional authority) and his former patient, a humorist and famous actor-comedian. The dialogue of these extraordinary gentlemen is easy and charming, and the topic concerns everyone. As the old joke goes, “a good thing can’t be called a waste.” This is what they talk about: why it can be so difficult even for a happy family, where family problems come from, how children “inherit” them in order to then create problems in their own family... and how you can still stop this conveyor belt and change something to the best. And also: about family tyranny and tyrants, the benefits of quarrels (not just any kind), about psychological “divorce” from parents, about children’s and adult sexual problems and much more. Normal human language does not in the least prevent the book from being deeply and subtly professional7 And all this thickly seasoned with dry and brilliant English humor. In general, no one has ever read such a book in Russian: it can become a discovery both for professionals (doctors, psychologists) and for the “man on the street.”