In the wake of the ever-increasing fashion for northern mythology and history, some of our contemporaries fell in love with the opportunity to talk about a pleasant and only “worthy” afterlife in the paradise of the ancient Scandinavians and other Vikings - Valhalla. For some reason they think it will be really great there, everything will be free, everything will be a blast. Numerous fantasy authors are not far behind them, whose heroes feel at home among the northern gods, casually fraternize with Viking heroes and fall in love with batches of beautiful Valkyries. The author of this story also paid considerable tribute to this tradition. Just having matured a little and having accumulated a certain amount of information in his head about the realities of that era, the author once thought: will our contemporary be so happy in the Scandinavian paradise? The author apologizes in advance for possible offense to the religious feelings of individual believers. All coincidences are accidental. All the characters are fictitious... or almost all of them.