“I have very noisy neighbors,” says Robert Shearman. — They talk too loudly and stomp on the stairs. When they are in a good mood, they turn on the music at full volume. Freaks. I act passive-aggressive with them. Every time I go outside, I clench my teeth. They greet me, I wave and smile, but my smile is full of irony. Outside the door, I silently shake my fists and whisper (although they are unlikely to hear over the roar of the music) repeat: “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”The only reason I wrote this story was in hopes that one day one of them would walk into a bookstore. He'll rummage through the shelves. He will see my name in this collection and maybe buy it. Then they will understand everything. They will understand how angry I am with them. This will be my passive-aggressive revenge. Someday, neighbors, you will read this. Now, I'm not kidding. Turn down the music!”