The most pleasant and most terrible feeling for me that I found on this earth was the loss of control. I dropped it deep into the water. The water knocked it out of my head and carried it with it into the sleeping chaos in the heart of the ocean. Without control, I became free and light, a child hugging a huge orange bunny in the center of the living room of my parents' house. I would call it absolute happiness, quiet, fulfilling. I sat on the edge of the board and looked at the horizon line, absorbing the setting sun. It was so big, orange and warm, and it reminded me of that plush hare with huge ears, it reminded me of that feeling that had once been lost for many years, a feeling that I quite unexpectedly found again here, sitting at sunset in the salty ocean. I was home again. No matter how long this road may seem, no matter how many bruises I get along the way, it led me to myself.