I have been keeping something like diaries for a very long time. Three-quarters of this non-binding scribbling consisted of notes about books read - this habit remained from school. The remaining quarter is football, hockey, something else random. Very little was devoted to politics. Occasionally, for example, in December 2010, there was more politics. Since the spring of 2020, it has filled almost everything. Hope has been revived for the country to drift into a civilized direction, and without revolutions, in a peaceful way. Either with joy, or with cautious optimism, or with bitterness, the stages of this drift were recorded, which ended with what we know - our ship turned out to be covered in Arctic ice. However, being a gloomy skeptic, he had little faith in victory. I didn't miscalculate. It will be noted more than once how convenient it is to be a skeptic in our country...

It is this wobbling from timid hope to “everything is lost” that has been recorded.