Description of the book Previously published under the title “Self-Compassion. About the power of compassion and self-kindness." Under the cover is a new approach that will help you become happier: a caring and conscious attitude towards yourself.

Our culture encourages being demanding of yourself and treating life as a competition. We strive to be better, more attractive, stronger than those around us, constantly proving that we are “good enough.” We compromise our desires for social approval, become bogged down in self-criticism, or assert ourselves at the expense of others. We spend a lot of energy and time on destructive experiences and eventually burn out and lose the taste for life.

But there is an alternative to self-esteem - kindness towards yourself. The world's leading expert on self-compassion and self-compassion, Kristin Neff knows all about cunning psychological mechanisms that drive us into a trap. She explains how to correct destructive emotional patterns so you can be healthier, happier and more effective, and offers an unusual approach to your own imperfections - empathy (not to be confused with pity and whining!).

With this book, you You will practice caring and conscious attitude towards yourself. Learn to show kindness and caring. Stop judging and evaluating. Get rid of the fear of failure, anxiety and negative outlook on the world. And most importantly, you will understand that no one is better or worse. This simple knowledge makes life easier and motivates much more than an endless (and meaningless) competitive struggle.

Who is this book for

For those who are too critical of themselves and are often dissatisfied ourselves.

For everyone who needs support and care.

From the author

Continuously satiating our need for positive self-esteem, we are a little like a person overeating on candy. We get a high from sugar, but then our levels begin to drop. And the pendulum immediately moves in the other direction, despair sets in: we understand that, no matter how much we would like it, we cannot always blame other people for our problems. We can't always feel special and above average. This often leads to disastrous results. We look in the mirror, we don't like what we see (both figuratively and literally), and we feel ashamed. Having finally admitted some shortcoming or mistake, most of us treat ourselves incredibly harshly. "I not good enough. I'm worthless." If honesty is associated with such harsh judgment, it is not surprising that we hide the truth from ourselves.

In cases where it is not easy to fool ourselves - for example, when comparing our weight with the weight of fashion models or our bank account with the accounts of the rich and successful people, we cause ourselves incredible mental pain. We lose faith in ourselves, begin to doubt our abilities and lose hope. In this deplorable state, we, of course, rush to blame ourselves even more, repeat what passive losers we are, and get stuck more and more tightly.

And even if we manage to pull ourselves together - the ideal of a person considered “ good enough,” always seems tantalizingly out of reach. We must be smart, and physically strong, and stylish, and interesting, and successful, and sexy. Oh yes, and spiritual too. And no matter what success we achieve, we can’t help but feel that someone else is doing even better. This way of thinking leads to shocking results: millions of people are forced to take medications every day, otherwise they cannot cope with normal daily activities. Uncertainty, anxiety, and depression are extremely common in our society, and this is largely a consequence of the self-judgment and self-flagellation that we resort to when it seems to us that victory in the game called “life” is eluding us.