This is the first book. This is the first book of short stories, existential sketches, you can say that. The lyrical hero is so busy with his thoughts and contemplation that he does not remember his own gender for a long time, has no name, age, serious social connections and work record. Drawing a picture of the world with word games, meticulously studying the meanings, emphasizing in red the weaknesses and shortcomings of a person, still believing in the bright, looking for its forms and calls in everything, even in complete despair and painful isolation. And if he can’t feel feelings, he can think about them and fill his diaries with them.