In her book, former nun Valentina Murenkova talks about the ups and downs of her own destiny. The young artist, moving in the bohemian circles of the early 1990s, on the wave of enthusiasm for the ideas of the Orthodox Church, finds herself practically in a totalitarian sect - in the spiritual care of a priest who dreamed of dying for Christ and called everyone around to do the same.

After spending several years in complete obedience to the confessor, the woman is gradually freed from his power, but falls into a different spiritual captivity. Now the bishop is blackmailing her with her imminent death, the sins committed, the health and life of her daughter, forcing her to accept monasticism: otherwise, one cannot beg for the right to a happy and peaceful existence. To become a nun is a decision made once and for all, but, faced with outright hypocrisy and lies, V. Murenkova, after spending seventeen years in the monastery, finds the strength and courage to run away and start a new free life.

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