Slightly edited version of the translation from Sertin. Semantic, stylistic and grammatical errors have been corrected to the best of our ability. Added some clarifications. Many thanks to Anastasia Tversky from distant Toronto for her help in working with the English text.

“In the area of Onaback, Illinois, a strange substance flows in the Illinois River instead of water. Its effect on the body is similar to the effect of alcohol, but without unpleasant consequences: people lose their internal inhibitions and begin to live for their own pleasure. Troops were deployed to the mysterious area, but neither the dispatch of agents nor the attack of the Marines were successful. Equipment and firearms do not work there, and the Marines are not trained to fight with naked women who welcome you with open arms.”