The book is an autobiographical account of the experience of living in a Russian Orthodox monastery. The author describes without embellishment the customs and morals of the inhabitants of the monastery. It turns out that people there are not always motivated by love for their neighbor. And if power is concentrated in the hands of a despotic abbess, life in a monastery can become a serious test for faith. The shocking truth about the orphanage at the monastery, the life of novices, morals and relationships in an isolated women's group, NLP, control and suppression of horizontal connections, software, cult of personality , occupational therapy, unconventional sex, techniques for manipulating people's consciousness and behavior, regimen, women's fights in wet T-shirts, spiritual education, sleep, features of Orthodox medicine in the form of injections of deliberately contaminated solutions, theological disputes over a spoonful of jam, the culture of violence - all this and much more another in the memoirs of Maria Kikot, a novice of the St. Nicholas Chernoostrovsky convent in the city of Maloyaroslavets, Kaluga region in 2010–2014.