These memoirs describe many events, ranging from my youth to my fairly mature years, but the main purpose of the memoirs is this. I wanted to describe, on the most popular level possible, my understanding of fundamental quantum physics and mathematics and what I was trying to do. In this regard, I will make the following remark. Philip Gibbs created a website and called it vixra. This name is obtained if you read the word "arxiv" in reverse order. Philip believed that the moderation system that arxiv uses does not comply with the principles of scientific ethics. The events I describe below show that not only arXiv, but many well-known journals also do not follow the principles of scientific ethics. In the abstract, the full text of which is in the article, I briefly describe what is most important in my approach and what problems I encountered in trying to publish my scientific results.