This book was written from 1991 to 2007. It was never conceived as a book, and its appearance, in general, is a miracle. For me. This is a collection of essays that show how I have changed and my worldview has changed over all these years. It consists of two parts. These parts are not similar to each other, but they are real. In general, I wrote what was being written, and not what should have been written. If you like, these are pieces of my life. My understanding of what was happening to me and the World around me. Understanding that is not formalized into clear conclusions. Understanding is not with the mind at all. Emotions. And yet, never and under no circumstances could it have even been written, let alone published, if not for my friends. If it weren’t for the huge number of truly good people in the World. Because of which there is Peace. Thank you. Dead and alive.