“I wrote a book, dear. This is a documentary novel about our relationship with you, about how you lied to your wife, how you tried to look like an honest family man in the eyes of the public, how you ran various financial scams with your father-in-law, a deputy. You blurted out so much to me when you were drunk, Sandro, that your secrets were enough for a whole book! My novel contains a lot of intimate details, explicit scenes and revealing truths that will kill you, your wife and your father-in-law! I wrote this book on my own behalf and called everyone by their proper names. The novel is called “Topsy-turvy.” Three major publishing houses immediately grabbed a stranglehold on it, offering me large print runs and high royalties. But I haven’t signed a single contract...”