It wasn't just Ken Kesey's heroes who ended up in an American mental hospital. For example, an ordinary graduate of Yale University, a promising young man, Clifford Whittingham Beers, was also in the arms of a straitjacket. At the age of 24, he decided to commit suicide after the death of his beloved brother. He was lucky to survive. However, returning to life is not so easy if you have deliberately cut yourself off from it. Paranoia, delirium, premonition of death - how to get out of the labyrinth of the mind and leave the madhouse? The authentic surroundings of a psychiatric hospital of the early twentieth century will stir your blood. And furious fights with medical staff will really tickle your nerves. Such a gloomy and bitter confession of Clifford Beers at first glance actually gives hope for a bright future. This is a story full of resilience and spiritual courage. This is an honest conversation about death that inspires to live. Published in Russian for the first time.