Book description A fascinating auto-fiction, a story about illness and healing, about the boundaries of “normality” and what a person experiences when he goes crazy without noticing it. This is what Billy Milligan or the heroes of Oliver Sacks' stories could tell about themselves.

When reading this book, absolutely everyone can try on everything that the author writes about. This is not only a story about “madness” - it raises deep ideological and existential questions. It is written dynamically, excitingly, in dialogue with the reader, one might even say, interactive. The author plays with us in places: for example, describing different voices in his head, he suddenly asks: “Are you reading these lines in your voice or mine? What, my heart skipped a beat, didn’t it?” (the reader’s heart really skips a beat at this moment).

It’s impossible to tear yourself away from the text. And despite the fact that the topic is difficult, the book leaves an inspiring and life-affirming aftertaste.

Who is this book for

For fans of “The Mysterious Case of Billy Milligan”, “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for hat" and "Flowers for Algernon."

From the author

A few years ago I completely broke down. So much so that they had to strap me to a psychiatric hospital bed so I couldn't hurt myself.

I have no idea when my madness began. If people knew how often they feel lost, they would stop being afraid to mention it out loud.

I wrote this book primarily for myself, in case the voices caused another commotion in my head, and for those who have gone through a similar ordeal - maybe my experience can somehow help them.

Rebuilding yourself from scratch is exhausting work, but also exciting, because the ability to experience real emotions returns to you. One day you will realize that you are creating the person you want to be.

Published in Russian for the first time.