My fellow Americans, we are here for one reason: the fact that I picked Marc Havak to represent us in the crucible of carnage. Now, before we talk about how fantastic I am at making world leader decisions. Let’s talk about how great this sequel is.

I've read many sequels, and all were bad. Very very bad. But this one? It's the best. And not just because I'm in it. No. Well, yes. I’m in it, and I always do a fantastic job with everything. But it’s also because Marc kicks a ton more alien ass, bangs a ton more alien babes, and generally shows the universe why Americans are the ones who always save the world.