Something needs to be said here, as I understand it. Ah-la, preface. When I was digging through my blogs over five years and collecting all this material, of course I was pretty horrified at how everything was changing. The darkness and hopelessness of the autumn of 2004 gave way to the fun and excitement of the first half of 2005. The emptiness of the second half of 2005 gave way to the alcohol and utopian mood of the first half of 2006. Self-destruction, self-flagellation and the terrible gloom of the second half of 2006 gave way to the positive parties of the first half of 2007. Another autumnal emptiness of the second half of 2007 gave way to wild fun, musical searches and wild drug fumes in 2008. The end of 2008 first brought love and happiness, and then hell and fucked up from her loss. I don’t even know how to describe 2009 in a nutshell. It was incomprehensible to me. In general, everything was just like that. In 2004–2005, I escaped depression by going to matches, then I began to escape with alcohol and drugs. Now I’m saving myself by putting it all together and re-reading it. Of course, a certain part of the notes are embellished and supplemented. All these crazy stories about the wild year of 2005 about how Div and I got drunk and went to football are partly not true. We went to football games, but didn’t drink. For some reason we didn’t need it then. And a year later it became necessary for me. Now again there is no need. Apparently, I’m mad and don’t know what I need and what I want. Of course, I have a special, boundless gratitude to Div, with whom the most fun episodes from this diary are associated. Even though he doesn’t want to know me now, I’m grateful to him. We were awesome friends, there’s no arguing that. And thanks to the many girls who have passed through my life over the years. So many experiences were given. And every time it seemed that everything was for real. Although in reality it was only from the end of 2008 (if you read it, you will understand). In general, everything was as it was.

Pasha Bomber.