After the failed Apocalypse and exile to Hell, Satan takes Crowley with him in order to roughly punish him - the way they know how to do it in Hell - and Aziraphale is not going to put up with this and raises his voice at the Lord. Rating for injuries and medical manipulations. Note 1: partial AU regarding the ending of the events at the air base. Note 2: partial AU regarding the real causes of some canon events. Note 3: Lord, AKA the Most High, is feminine in this Universe, and Death is masculine. This is incomprehensible, but should be accepted as a given. Note 4: Not only are owls not what they seem. Author's Notes: Dedicated to Terry Pratchet and Neil Gaiman with great gratitude for the incomprehensible oafs and everything that may happen around them (and to them).