When you stand on the threshold of the inevitable, one way or another you begin to figure out in your head options for the further development of events. I think it’s worth highlighting several stages of attitude towards what is happening: The first is distrust. You cannot soberly assess the situation and stupidly think that everything will work out. The second is awareness. It comes after a couple of hours, days, weeks - it’s different for everyone. The head processes the incoming information, and the final feeling of inevitability comes. The third is action. Here a person decides what he will do next: he will lie in bed, pumping himself up with medicine, listening to the cries of his distraught relatives, or he will run away, plunging for a while into a new, but much richer and more interesting life. The fourth is death. My name is Ruby Barlow . And, having reached the third stage, I chose to escape.