Sandy Hotchkiss. Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism (2003) M.: Independent Firm “Class”, 2013. - 248 p. — (Library of psychology and psychotherapy). ISBN 978-5-86375-171-9 Translation from English by Valery Mershavka This is the first popular book about narcissism. The author describes the signs of narcissistic personality disorder, the causes of its appearance associated with early childhood trauma, and gives practical recommendations on how to psychologically protect yourself when in the company of a narcissistic personality. Sandy Hotchkis calls the “seven deadly sins” of narcissism, as well as the mechanisms of their formation associated with parenting and the surrounding culture. Breaking out of the narcissistic “web” is extremely difficult, since narcissistic personality disorder can affect not only our leaders, co-workers, friends, lovers and neighbors, but also our loved ones - spouses, children and especially aging parents. To maintain your health, and therefore the health of your children, you need to be able to see specific signs of narcissism and use specific defenses. The book provides many examples from life and analytical practice. The book will be very interesting and useful not only to psychologists of different schools and directions, but also to educators and teachers, and most importantly, to a wide range of readers who would like to better understand the causes of their problems in relationships with other people, especially in the problem of so-called psychological vampirism. The electronic version of the book does not have a list of references (in English) Sandy Hotchkis is a doctor of psychology, a psychoanalyst with private practice in Pasadena, Southern California. She specializes in individual and family psychotherapy, as well as psychotherapy for couples. In addition, she is an active member of the California Society for Clinical and Social Work. “Emotionally immature individuals tend to divide people into two categories: “good at everything” and “bad at everything.” It often happens that “good” becomes “bad” or vice versa. But no one is ever endowed with good and bad qualities at the same time; for example, the “good” perception is somehow preserved, and the “bad” one remains in a special “closet” that can be opened or closed if desired, and at the same time the narcissistic person’s perception of the love object can change almost instantly. The narcissistic personality cannot stand a combination of feelings of love and hate towards the same person - which is why her relationships often feel like a roller coaster ride of inflation and deflation.” (Sandy Hotchkiss) “The main thing is that nothing can be trusted. Eyes run wild, logic crumbles to dust, the fulcrum disappears from under your feet, and all you can do is hang on top of your own rake, uncomfortably cutting into your stomach... What is Bob Smith and what do you eat him with? Is it baked with sauce or boiled for a long time, fried, cut into pieces, or served as a side dish, or maybe it is edible raw, just need to take out the needles and seeds? Or is it poisonous and death occurs within 48 hours? Or, perhaps, its shell gives off a sharp smell of something rotten, and underneath there is a magnificent, delicate, delicious pulp, like some of the tropical fruits..." (From an entry in Ann's diary in LiveJournal)